Admiring a light that will never shine for me...

So what happened was, we were BFF for almost like 2 years. And we had a relly good bond. She used to daily send voice note to me, sometimes video call too. And I also used to reply her fast and I was always there for her whenever she had a bad day. But 1 month ago, she added me in a gc. I thought it was normal. So I started chatting there. But there was another guy who used to talk with her with long text, voice note and sometimes call too. And I slowly started to get jealous. It hurts me a lot. But I couldn't do a thing...except watching them talk. And she was genuinely happy with him. in jealousy, anger and in hurt. I send her some mean, aggressive and aggorgant messages. I in anger told her she was s*ut, shit and some other swearing.... After that, I blocked her...that was my biggest mistake. I genuinely feel surry. So when I get clam, i texted her from my another acc...she said "forget about me" it hurts deep into core....what should I do?